Mastering Your Tone

“Tone is an instrument… learn how to use it, and people will listen.” – Sam Absalom, CRE OneSource

Most of us obsess over what we’re saying, but we don’t spend nearly enough time working on how we’re saying it.

93% of communication is nonverbal. That means tone, body language, and delivery matter way more than we give them credit for.

When you’re over the phone or Zoom, body language mostly goes out the window, putting way more emphasis on tone.

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to define and articulate what tone actually is and how you can improve it. Here’s how I think about it:

Tone is…

• Fast and slow
• Fluid and choppy
• Positive and somber
• Thoughtful and intentional

As our very own Sam Absalom says, tone is what makes people listen when you talk.

When you’re working on your tone, where should you focus?

1. Energy
   • Be excited, sharp as a tack, enthusiastic as hell
   • If you’re not excited, the audience definitely won’t be
2. Clarity
   • Cut the filler words
   • Know your content inside and out so you’re not stuttering, adding filler words, or trying to remember what to say
   • Use pauses intentionally, as a tool, to grab attention
3. Speed
   • Slow vs. Fast
   • Break parts of your script or content apart to really emphasize certain words by going slow through those sections. Then pick up the pace to maintain the energy and engagement.
4. Pitch
   • High vs. Low
   • Invoke emotion, capture attention. Don’t be monotone, and use pitch to bring emotion into your message.
5. Flow
   • Be smooth and conversational
   • Speak freely, be fluid, but occasionally break a sentence apart into choppy segments to grab the listener’s attention
6. Confidence
   • Fake it ’till you make it!
   • Convey belief in the value of your offering, because if you don’t believe in it, no one else will.
7. Professionalism 
   • Be respectful but casual. Be genuine and authentic. People want real relationships.
   • Pro tip: stand up and hold a cup of coffee while you’re on a call. This helps you strike the right professional and casual tone.

Want to see a masterclass on tone? Watch Jock Willink’s Ted Talk on Extreme Ownership.

How can you improve your tone and get people to listen to you more?

• Stand up
• Use your hands, act it out, leverage your body language – it comes through in your voice!
• Walk around
• Hold a cup of coffee (seriously, try it.)

Tone is a tool. A skill. An instrument. Like any instrument, the more you practice, the better you get.

Want people to pay attention? Want to build trust? Start by mastering your tone.

Click here to download my PDF on tone!

Charlie Coppola

[email protected]

Connect with me on LinkedIn!