We’ve stepped into a world where people are accessible 24/7. Your next conversation is just a notification away. And that has vastly changed the way that we think we are building relationships.
This has led to a lot of people feeling lost and missing clarity on how to build deeper, more meaningful relationships.
The other day, I came across this quote from Steven Neuner, “Relationships are forged in a crock pot, not a microwave. It takes time to build real trust and learn how to communicate.”
So I had this epiphany: The most satisfying relationships are not made in a microwave.
But if we were being honest most of us treat them like microwave meal:
- Too quick
- Convenient
- Largely quite forgettable
So how do we change this?
The right ingredients matter
A crock pot meal isn’t complicated, but it is intentional. Each ingredient plays a role, and the quality of what you put in determines what comes out.
Same with relationships.
- Reliability: Show up on time, do what you say you’re going to do
- Value Add: Give first and give often
- Candor: Willing to say what others won’t, be a buffalo
- Sacrificial: Willing to go the extra mile for others
- Timely: Know others’ needs and have enough velocity to execute
- Consistency: Over a longer period of time
Most people don’t fail because they chose the wrong ingredients. They fail because they don’t give the ingredients enough time to simmer.
The cooking process matters too
It does no one any good if I’m reliable once. Or timely once. Or honest once.
Microwave relationships are built on moments. Crock pot relationships are built on process.
The process looks like checking in when there’s nothing to gain. Following through when it’s inconvenient. Showing up again after an awkward conversation. Staying in the pot long enough for something real to form.
The kind that lasts past a transaction. Past a job. Past a hard season.
A quick gut check for today
Think about the person you most want a better relationship with right now.
A spouse. A teammate. A client. A friend.
Are you treating that relationship like a microwave meal, or a crock pot?
If it’s the crock pot, what ingredient needs to go in next, and what would it look like to give it time?
And if you’re in a season where you’re building relationships, I put together a short guide on what “crock pot relationships” look like. Click here to download the PDF!
Brock Baker
